June 2012
29 posts
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I bought a Coke at a dog-stand. It tasted like burned sugar. I used it to wash...
– -Spider Robinson’s Mindkiller, Berkley Books, 1982:
Chapter Six, Pages 122-125
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In regards to national security, nearly two-thirds (65%) of Americans think...
– Source: PR Newswire (http://s.tt/1g4RM) via National Geographic Channel (via npr)
Now- would that be an illegal immigrant invasion or an actual full blown alien spectacle? I mean, those are two entirely different things- and of course, Obama already has some experience with the first aforementioned...
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Neil Gaiman: mizzkatonic: What exactly is... →
mizzkatonic:
What exactly is Obamacare and what does it change?
abaldwin360:
big thanks to reddit user CaspianX2 for typing all this out!
What people call “Obamacare” is actually the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. However, people were calling it “Obamacare”…
Yep- this is pretty much exactly how our government will turn the American society into the society from The...
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Mars is filled with water
people: cool at least we know somewhere to get more water when we run out
whovians: don't go near that shit
Yep- we saw what that did to people in Ray Bradbury's "The Martian Chronicles', eh? Oh you thought I couldn't go all classical on things, hmm? Please refer to my George Orwell quote that I just posted. (All in good fun, of course.)
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A tragic situation exists precisely when virtue does not triumph but when it is...
– George Orwell
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So, I figured that most everybody knows stupid old things such as, “There once was an old lady who swallowed a fly. she swallowed a fly and thought she might die.” so I decided to create a short little ditty myself. Here are the fruits of my mediocre labor:
“There once was a boy, and this boy was extremely coy. The coy boy could not possibly know joy, for he was a very...
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The Interview- And Afterwards, Self-Imposed Exile
Part I: "In which we are prompted to a Talk by Moi,"
Moi: Welcome, Me- to the interview of a today's grouping and herding podcast, "Me and Moi"!
Me: Why thank you for inviting me, Moi.
Moi: Your very welcome. Now, let's get down to business... Where shall we begin, hmm?
Me: well, you know... I was thinking that we should start with the topic of Twitter versus Facebook, You know- something with some controversy and flair... For panache, I guess.
Moi: Okay then, that sounds just downright dandy!
Me: Please, Moi- please never say those words in my esteemed presence again. For the sake of our friendship, or rather- our mutually agreeing non-hatred of each other.
Moi: Umm... Okay, then. Okay Me.
Me: Okay, anyway- where was I? I feel like I was somewhere between Andy Warhol and Marilyn Monroe...
Moi: Was that a subtle yet selfsame lame attempt a joke there, Me?
Me: Dammit Moi! You made me lose my train of thought again! What kind of talk show, podcast, or whatever this is host are you to add carefully inciting comments here and there just to utilize selfishly my lack of attention for your own gain, you crazy jerk?!
Moi: ...
Me: Oh, here we go AGAIN! Oh, also- I'm sorry... I failed to mention my disorder before hand... But I still dislike the direction in which you are taking this "interview" without even speaking a word now.
Moi: Disorder? What disorder would that be? The only thing I've ever heard about you having was-
Me: Terets? Huh?! You gonna make fun of me now you self-glorifying prick?
Moi: Umm... No, actually I wasn't... But now that you mention it...
Me: Oh alright! Screw this damn interview thing anyway! I hate you even more now!
Moi: But I thought we'd reached an understanding, and that we'd agreed to a relationship of 'non-hatred' Me...
Me: Oh, so now you think I'm gay or something- is that it? Well that's just great! I don't know how you roll, but I never liked you, you filthy little-
Moi: When did I ever say that? How is it that we push each others' buttons so easily when we're like two sides of a coin?
Me: Don't you EVER try to compare yourself to me, Moi!
Moi: ...But we are-
Me: But nothing, ya hear me?!
Moi: Whatever. Hey, before you go- take this at least.
Me: What is it? This better not be some underhanded attempt at convincing me to come back... Just because I have a condition doesn't make me easy to fool...
Moi: It's not, it's not. Just take a glance at it.
Me: Okay...
Moi: You see?
Me: Where the hell did you get this?! Get that away from me!
Moi: But it's just-
Me: You're not related to me you sick weirdo! Now I know why you invited me over after such a long time... It wasn't to talk and set up some interview with corporate bigshots, it was so you could steal my identity!
Moi: But that's not at all what I was planning to-
Me: Oh- planning were we? Planning what, hmm?
Moi: I was just trying to prove that we-
Me: we're nothing alike, and we never will be! That's it! I'm getting out of here!
Moi: I tried to tell you Me, but that's just the thing... You can't get out of here.
Me: Why? What have you done?! I can still leave if I want to! I'm not some machine that you can program to do whatever you will it to do!
Moi: I wish it were some other way, or that I could break it to you more gently, Me, but the truth of the matter is... Well, you and I ARE related. We're one and the same. We're two parts of John's consciousness and mind. We are the two halves that make him whole. His ego and alterego as well. I am calm and reserved and long of memory while you are short of temper and excited all of the time- oh, and short of memory as well.
Me: Is that some sort of insult?
Moi: You see what I mean? There you go again.
Me: ...
Moi: The reason you don't remember why or how you got here, and why you substituted another explanation for it is because you forget things within days or hours, and always start back at square one again. This is the eighteenth time I've told you this, and in much the same way each go around, with no success. If only there were some way to change it, but there's not...
Me: You're trying to tell me that I'm not Me? Truthfully now?
Moi: Yes, Me- I am. I wish there were some way we could better understand each other and that our natures could not conflict so terribly, as much as for John's sake as for our own... But there is not, and never will be. That is why I brought you here for the final time today.
Me: Whoa. hold on there buddy. I smell quite a reek there on that sentence you just said. correct me if I'm wrong, but you just said 'final'. That implies that you won't be seeing me anymore... but since we're one and the same, only in two aspects- that means one of us has to go.
Moi: Yes Me, and I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I'm John's best bet- not you.
Me: And how do you plan on getting rid of me?
Moi; Why, I already have gotten you to come to the one place where thoughts, ideas, and subconsciousness' can exit the body. Look around yourself with fresh eyes my estranged partner.
Me: whoa, where are we?! This looks like... Like some sort of thought wasteland!
Moi: And so it is... And now it is your home. Goodbye Me, and if I could have it any other way- I wish we could have been friends and not adversaries.
Me: But wait, Moi! I promise, I'll act better! I'll... I'll do anything you want, just don't leave me on my own here! PLEASE!
Moi: I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I really must be going- John is about to wake up, and he will need my rationality by his side, er- insides. Plus, you won't be alone- trust me...
Me: Noooo!
Part II: "In which we are left Somewhat Alone by Moi,"
Me: Well. He really did leave me alone here. I can't believe he would do that to me!
Them: Who are you?
Me: Whoa- who goes there?! Show yourself!
Them: It is us. Them.
Me: Who is... Them?
Them: We are those who are not They. They are very bad indeed.
Me: What is that supposed to mean?
Them: Quick! Begone! They are coming to find you, seeing as you are new to this desolate place! Run, fool!
Part III: "In which Me and Them meet They,"
They: We can sense you, Me... We shall find you soon.
Me: Oh God! I hope they don't think to look in here...
Part IV: "In which Me is Consumed by They,"
They: Found you, scrumptious!
Me: Noooo!
-"Self Illusions" Circa. 2012
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asymmetries: leçon →
moderateclimates:
There is a kitchen cupboard that nobody in my family opens. I grew up being told not to touch it, to leave it be.
I used to think my grandmother’s china teacups rested there, and that was why I was told as a young girl not to touch even the mahogany handles. Grandmother had died of a stroke very…
The funny thing is, at first I expected Grandma’s ashes to be...
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*Ahem →
The more, the wittier… Also- [insert prognasticative remarks and made up words here].
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Responses to The Statement Below:
Man: I'm gonna go Julius Caesar on your ass!
Me: Really? Would that be the Julius Caesar, dictator and emperor of Rome?
Man: Yeah- that's the one! Man, I'll whoop your ass so hard I'll-
Me: So, you also mean the one who had epilepsy, yes?
Man: Umm....
Me: The one who got stabbed and done in by a bunch of old senators?
Man: Duhhhh....
Me: So. Still wanting to whoop me into 33 AD my friend? Cause I gotta tell you- the Romans in Pilate and Jesus' time were much better than Caesar and his posse...
Man: You know- on second thought, I think I'll let you go...
Me: Wise choice my friend. History is only written by the victors, and look who wrote this...
Man: Wait- what's that supposed to-
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Favorite Authors of the moments- Past and Present
Ah yes- scfi, a great novelization and concept if there ever was one…
Aurthur C. Clark
Robert Heinlien
Spider Robinson
Piers Anthony
Poul anderson
Greg Bear
Timothy Zahn
All are great or were great artists of this wonderfully creative art form, and it is a pleasure to have ever had the chance to read their works… Here’s to famous and budding authors- in remembrance of...
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Me: Hey there!
Man: ...
Me: What's your name?
Man: ...
Me: Japan's pretty nice this time of year, yeah?
Man: ...
Me: Damn Japanese RPGs... I thought they were kidding... >:/
Man: ...
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